Category: For Mamas

An Open Letter to my Son

Dear Baby Bear,

I love you so much more than words can explain. You taught me how to love in more ways that I ever expected to. You’re growing so fast. It amazes me how well you are learning things. Just a year ago, you were this tiny little thing and now you’re calling my name and telling me you love me.

I can’t wait to watch you grow into a handsome young man. I don’t ever want you to lose this innocence you have, even though you can be quite the demon at times. I love you even when you pull my hair or rip my glasses off my face. I love you even more when you give me hugs and what you think are kisses – but really dude, close your mouth when you try giving kisses. You’re the smallest cuddle bear ever and such a mama’s boy. I hope it stays that way.

I might be biased, but you’re the cutest boy ever. You’re going to be a huge heartbreaker when you grow up. I hope you are respectful towards women and I will make sure to raise you to do so. If you’re going to be anything like your dad, you will be a great man someday. Remember not to tell someone you love them unless you mean it and never rush into anything.

Don’t let people take advantage of you. I want you to know your worth and use that. Don’t let anyone push you around, but stay respectful and friendly to everyone. Please remember that not everyone is your friend. I will be proud of you for everything you do.

I believe that one day you can be anything you’ll want to be. I am trying my best to give you the best life possible. I am going back to school, buddy. I hope to be a counselor by the time you reach elementary school. One day, your mom and dad are going to be able to support you more than we ever thought possible.

I want you to stay humble. No matter what you have, appreciate it. You are loved and you have the best family to support you. I hope that you grow to understand that. I know a lot of kids and teenagers resent their parents and families because that’s just what they do. I expect it, but I want you to know, I understand.

No matter how big you grow, you will always be my baby bear.  You will never be too big to be my baby. I will forever be your number one supporter. From your very first smile to your first steps, I was here and I plan to continue the whole way through your life. I love you more than life itself. I am sorry if I am not the best role model for you, but I honestly try.

 

– Mama

Motherhood Isolation

Ever feel like you are never alone, but always lonely? Well you’re not alone. Motherhood isolation and the loneliness that comes with it is very real and shouldn’t be pushed to the side.

It’s time to talk about it.

When I was pregnant with my son, I felt surrounded by so many friends and family. People would contact me asking how I was feeling and if I was excited that soon I’d be a mother. They would remind me to cherish my sleep because I wouldn’t be getting much once he was here. I was told a bunch of advice, but nobody ever told me how lonely motherhood can get.

Nobody told me that there would be days I would scroll endlessly on Facebook wishing I could reach out to every person I have on my friends list, but feeling too overwhelmed with anxiety to put myself out there. It got to the point where I stopped reacting to or commenting on other mom’s posts. Whatever you do, don’t do that. Engage yourself in conversation if you can.

Nobody told me about the “we should hang out soon” texts that lead nowhere. I would send or receive messages like that, but then plans are never made. It’s very rare that I make plans that I am able to follow through. I don’t know why something always seems to come up.

Nobody told me that I might go days without having someone check in on me and how I was doing (besides my husband or parents.) I never really understood this. When I was pregnant, I felt like a road side attraction. Everyone was so eager to ask how the baby was doing and how pregnancy was treating me, but as soon as my baby was introduced to the world and our friends and family, I felt like everything about me became invisible.

Now definitely don’t get me wrong here. I don’t mind being alone sometimes. I even feel like I have become a homebody since becoming a mother. I just feel like I really need a friend sometimes and it’s crucial to have someone that you can message about those scary diaper stories or the newest milestone your baby hit.

Ways to Fight the Loneliness

Photo by Tess Emily Seymour from Pexels

Join a club, an organization, or an online community.

There are plenty of different ways for you to reach out into the community. Mine just so happened to be MOPS. Even if you don’t have WIC, go to your local office and ask them if they know of any events happening in your area. Your pediatrician might have a few recommendations as well. Another place to ask is Facebook. If you can, find a local mom group on Facebook and ask the other moms in there. You might even be able to make a friend or two.

Reach out to family and friends.

You may feel like nobody is there for you. (Trust me, I get it and that is what makes this the hardest step for me personally.) Your family and friends will be there for you if you tell them what you’re really feeling. Don’t hide from them, they only want you to be happy. Don’t wait for them to notice and reach out to you, they might not realize what you’re going through without you reaching out to them first. Some of them might just be going through the same thing.

Reach out for help.

If you are struggling trying to stay in control of things or feel like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders, stop for a second. Take a minute to look at how it is affecting you mentally. Why else would you be feeling this way? Ask for help. You might be a super mom, but you don’t need to be a superhero. A part of the reason I think I had issues with feeling like I was alone was I never asked for help, but the people who said they would be there for me would never offer either. If you need help and no one is offering it, you’ll need to reach out and ask for it. 

Keep a journal.

Write how you are feeling. Keep a journal or something to release yourself into. I started keeping a bullet journal to help myself stay more organized and in it I have a “one line a day” where I write down something every day. Sometimes it’s a feeling, sometimes it is about something that happened that day. That would be something nice to get your creativeness flowing and keep yourself from drowning in your thoughts and loneliness.

Stay off of social media.

Seeing others post and comparing yourself to them will only make your situation worse. Don’t let yourself wander down those endless feeds looking at smiling faces wishing that was you. It will not make you feel any better.

Think of all the good in things.

It might be a little hard to not feel like your life is just falling apart when you’re dealing with loneliness. Look at this time as a way to connect with yourself. Get to know yourself better. Look at that little human you made and your significant other and think of all the happiness they bring you. 

Find a Mama BFF

My biggest piece of advice is to find yourself a mama friend. Go online and meet your due date buddy. I was lucky to have met my best mama friend in person already, even though we barely knew each other before we were pregnant. Download Peanut. Join BabyCenter. Find yourself a friend you can survive motherhood with that isn’t your husband or your own mom.

Best Shows on Netflix for Moms

As a new mom, I spent a lot of time awake the first couple weeks. Late night feedings. Very dirty diaper changes. Constant yawns. There was one thing that helped me through the sleepless nights: Netflix. 

Seriously. If it wasn’t for Netflix, I feel like I would be pulling all my hair out going crazy. I was awake for what felt like 25 hours every day.

I came up with a small list of shows on Netflix that I believe any new mom, or anyone in general, might appreciate!

Netflix

1. The Letdown

This show is quite relatable to me. In the show, it depicts a new mother trying to get through all of motherhood’s challenges while showing the harsh reality of how most of us don’t have our stuff together. There are two seasons with very few episodes on Netflix right now and I haven’t been able to find information on season three, but we can hope.

CBC Television

2. Workin’ Moms

This show sort of has a bunch of everything. Reaches some touchy subjects. Can get you to laugh and cry within a matter of minutes. It’s a really good show when you need a story line to follow. It is definitely one of my personal favorites. To date, it has three seasons on Netflix with 13 episodes each.

BBC

3. Call the Midwife

This is a series that follows a young woman in her journey of being a midwife in the 1950s. This BBC drama is on Netflix with eight series totaling up to 69 episodes.

Freeform

4. The Fosters

The Fosters is a show that is a bunch of everything. The writers definitely didn’t leave out a lot when creating this show with topics like: LGBQT, the foster system, immigration, troubles with raising teenagers… There are plenty of things included in this show. I personally couldn’t help binge watching it after stumbling across the first episode and falling in love with the characters and story line. Definitely had me ugly crying. The Fosters has five seasons with about 21 episodes in each. 

Netflix

5. Santa Clarita Diet

If you like zombies, Drew Barrymore, and dark comedy, I have got a show for you. You’ll just have to take it from me, it’s a hilarious take on a zombie show. Currently there are three seasons with 10 episodes in each. Although Netflix has announced that there will be no renewal for a fourth season, sooo bummer.

Bonus Watch: Ali Wong Netflix Specials

Along with those shows, I can’t help but include Ali Wong’s Baby Cobra and Hard Knock Wife. These are both part of Netflix’s Stand-Up Comedy section. Ali Wong is so real and honest about motherhood and pregnancy, it’s hilarious. 

Check out this video Netflix Is A Joke posted on Youtube:


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Stay at Home Mom Morning Routine (+ tips to stick to it!)

I am NOT a morning person.

I have never been a morning person. NEVER. If I could ignore the world past noon everyday, I would. Can’t do that when you have a little human to take care of. Starting a morning routine has helped me come to love mornings a lot more than I used to. Especially since it is one of the only times I have to myself between the time my husband goes to work and my son wakes up.

Here’s what my morning looks like:

  • Wake up.
  • Go to the bathroom & brush teeth.
  • Start coffee & grab a snack.
  • Bullet journal.
  • Tidy any messes from the day before.
  • Relax until it’s mommin’ time (which isn’t very long).

Now not every morning looks exactly like that. Sometimes I switch some of those around. Sometimes I skip one. I am not a person that is really good with habits, but I try and that’s the best that I can do. I have a couple tips that help me stick to the routine.

 

My Tips to a Productive Morning Routine:

1. Be flexible!

I don’t have a specific time I wake up, but it’s usually sometime between 7am – 8am. From my experience, when I tried to make a routine with set times (like I’ll wake up at 7:30am, make the bed at 7:45am…) I would never follow it. Although it’s always better to get your body in the rhythm of at least waking up around the same time everyday.

2. Keep it simple.

Don’t mess with every tiny detail. It’s a lot easier to stick to a routine that is simple. When making yours, try sticking to 5-6 main tasks. You can add the extras whenever.

3. Listen to music.

Make a playlist or turn on the radio. Music always helps me get through the morning. Make sure it’s music that will make you feel productive. Sad songs just won’t do it for me.

4. Plan your day!

Every morning, I bullet journal. I check for all the appointments, tasks, and meals that I have for the day ahead of me. If you have nothing planned for the day, make a list of things you need to get done.

5. Eat Breakfast.

While tracking my habits and moods, I have noticed I am more likely to have a better day when I eat breakfast. Not everyday will I cook eggs, bacon, and toast. I don’t have the motivation to do that every single day. Do I count an apple as breakfast? Absolutely. I also try to stay hydrated. I will grab a bottle of water and drink it as I make my morning coffee. 

6. Declutter.

A clean space is a clean mind. If you declutter a space in your home (which for me is usually my nightstand), it might just make you feel like you’ve got your stuff together. Or at least for me it does.