Tag: labor

My Birth Story

Disclaimer: A few parts might be a little TMI for some readers.

At 5:50 am on January 8, 2019, I woke up to some pretty uncomfortable pains in my lower back. I thought it was because I couldn’t sleep the previous night and my body was uncomfortable. I went to the bathroom and noticed a clear, light pink discharge. It was very little, but enough for me to build up the nerve to call the OB.

I called the doctor who then told me to come in if the discharge continued. It continued, but barely. I thought nothing of it. My husband, who at the time was my fiancé, made the call to go because he had a gut feeling. Our hospital is an hour away, so we left a little before 7 am and got to there sometime around 8 am. When we were in the car, I tracked my contractions and they had felt like they were about five minutes apart.

Once we had finally got settled into L&D, my OB checked me at 9am. I measured 1cm and 50% effaced. The discharge was confirmed to be amniotic fluid. I was officially in labor. When I was still pregnant, I would ask people how they knew they were in labor and everyone told me, “when you’re in labor, you’ll know it.” I definitely did not know. My back felt so achy and I was only leaking some amniotic fluid. I didn’t get the “menstrual like pains” that people have told me about. I never experienced gush of my water breaking sending me into labor like the movies portray it. At this point, I got hooked up to the monitors and the nurses had told me my contractions were within a minute of each other. I still felt like they were a few minutes apart. I couldn’t feel all of them.

I was still measuring 1cm dilated just around noon. We started pitocin since my labor wasn’t progressing on its own. The dullness in my back just got worse. I felt every single contraction now. It wasn’t too bad yet just really irritating. I remember seeing the nurse come in every so often to up the amount and I wanted to smash that machine.

At 5:30pm, I was measuring 3cm & 80% effaced. Water was still bulging so the doctor broke it for me. (Note: Totally the weirdest and probably the most uncomfortable feeling ever. It feels like you’re peeing yourself without having any feeling in your bladder.) Within the next half hour, I asked for pain medicine because the contractions were so bad, but still refused the epidural. At least I was able to nap a little in between contractions with the pain medications considering I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. (& little did I know that I wouldn’t sleep very well for another 11 months.)

By 8pm, the cramping in my back became almost unbearable. I asked for them to check my dilation again. I measured 5cm. I told the nurse that it was about time to get the epidural. I felt like there was no end in sight. She came back about ten minutes later and said that the anesthesiologist and my doctor were in a C-section at the time so it was going to be a little wait, but we were able to start prepping for it. I felt so cold. I shivered and shivered. It was like I was shoved into an icebox. I remember just feeling super uncomfortable that I couldn’t sit still. I kept trying to move, but I was hooked up to the monitors so it felt impossible to move without setting off some type of alarm for the nurses.

At 8:38pm, as we were getting me ready for the epidural, I started to get the urge to push. My body was pushing. I had no control. I yelled out to the nurse that I was pushing and that the baby was coming. She yelled out into the hall that I was involuntarily pushing. She came over to check me. He was crowning. Within seconds, I was surrounded by six nurses and some doctor I didn’t know because my doctor was still in with the c-section.

Two pushes later and my little Bear was born. It was a plus that I had him without the epidural like I was hoping to. (You know, since he didn’t give me time to receive it.)

He weighed 7lbs 2oz and measured 19 inches. My whole world was in my arms and I felt like any pain I had just endured was gone. I felt nothing but love when I first saw him.

The Best Advice for New Moms

Being a mother is something I always knew I wanted. I honestly believe it’s the only thing I was certain about when it came to my future.

When I became pregnant at 19, I was overloaded with emotions. It felt like everything (the fear, the love, the happiness…) was all rolled into a ball and stuffed inside my chest. All of a sudden everything I did was not for just myself. I had a little human to think about.

The emotions definitely won’t end there. You’re going to feel so vulnerable once your baby finally enters the world. You’re going to feel love and helplessness like you’ve never felt before. It will all be worth it, mama. Here are a few things that I have learned as a first time mother that might just help you out.

When people say, “It takes a village.” It’s no joke. Accept the help.

It’s okay ask for help when you need a break. When you haven’t showered and your hair is getting knotted from being in a bun for the past three days, but your newborn only wants to be held and your husband is at work, call someone up. Call your mom. Call your sister. Ask for help. Moms need the opportunity to take a break and care for themselves in order to care for their little one. The easiest way to get that is to ask for a helping hand.

Motherhood can get very lonely at times.

You know those posts you see on Facebook that say something along the lines of Want to know who your real friends are? Get pregnant.? Well that’s because a lot of the time you start to notice you will spend what used to be your “free time” with your new family. You’ll find you won’t be seeing your friends as much as you used to see them. You’re all living your own lives and all of a sudden it’s become super hard to just make plans in the heat of the moment. Arrange a kid friendly lunch with some friends. Plan a game night for after the baby is in bed. Get a babysitter for the night. Don’t let being a parent stop you from getting out and spending some time with your friends.

Join a local mom group!

I joined a mom group called MOPS when my son was 8 months old. I wish I would have known about the group sooner. I would have joined when I was pregnant had I known back then. I personally don’t get out much, so I love having that group to look forward to every couple weeks. MOPS is worldwide and if you’re interested in finding a group near you, click here.

Create a birth plan, but expect it to not go to plan.

The whole point of making one is to let the doctors and nurses know how you hope your labor goes. When I went to the hospital in labor, I didn’t think I was in labor. I came so unprepared and my birth plan was left at home in one of the bags I didn’t bring to the hospital. As I was in labor, I realized creating a birth plan was so much more than just putting together your wishes. It’s about education. You learn a lot about childbirth that you may have never heard of before.

Almost nothing about parenthood is textbook.

Your pregnancy. Your labor. Your baby. Your parenting style. There are so many ways that things can go there is no right way or wrong way. You could go your whole pregnancy without morning sickness, whereas your friend has been sick for nine months straight. Your baby might be measuring a little small for his age, but he’s following his own curve. You just have to remember that we are all on the same ball field, but looking at it from different perspectives.

Everything is going to be okay and you’re doing a great job.

Every mom needs a little reassurance sometimes, even that mom who posted that picture of her three kiddos hugging on Instagram with #grateful and #blessed in the caption. She definitely looks like she’s got her ducks in line, but what she doesn’t put on there is right after she took that picture Bobby pulled Brittany’s hair and Brittany slapped Joey thinking he did it. None of us are perfect and that’s okay.

Relax. Breathe. Sleep.

That basket of laundry isn’t going anywhere. Take a break while the baby is sleeping or preoccupied. Don’t worry about the toys scattered all over the living room floor. Nothing will be able to replace the time you have with your baby. Don’t waste it worrying about silly things